While driving home after a rare Tuesday night together last week, my sleepy, sad-to-leave, “Why can’t we just stay together at night, you’re *almost* married” oldest asked a profound question:
If you could choose to stay at any age forever, what would it be?
I sat with this for a few minutes, volleyed it back and listened as Ben said he would choose 20, “because I would be in college, with girlfriends, and not living with my parents…but you will still visit me, right?”.
Samantha chose 16, “because then I can drive a car”.
Coco was already asleep, but I’m pretty sure she’d choose every day that she’s not spending “sit and think” time in her room for some transgression, which is certainly NOT these days. The girl is three through and through, and I have high hopes that four will be a bit easier for both she and I.
But, I digress.
If I could choose ANY age to stay at forever, what would it be…
I thought about some of my more detailed memories growing up as a child and into an adult. High school was pretty nondescript, college was fun, but not something I’d want to relive indefinitely. The years before my kids were born were missing, well, MY KIDS. The years where my marriage began unraveling can stay forever in the past. Last year when The Man and I were dating stands out as a happy one, but it still so much in limbo because the children were not yet a part of our life together.
Would I fast forward to the future? After the kids are off to college and we have the ability to travel together to all the places on our bucket list sounds good, right?
I thought about the options, and settled on the obvious answer: Right now. 36 years old. On the very cusp of marrying my best friend, of moving into the house that felt like ours from the very first moment we saw it, from blending a family of six children that already consider one another best friends. My loved ones are healthy, my children secure and still easy to steer through life. THIS is the age I would freeze forever in time if I could.
The realization of that simple fact produced grateful tears, and I am sharing my daughter’s thoughtful question with all of you as a result:
If you could choose any age to stay at, what would it be, and why?
ps) Saturday is the big day! We leave for our (kid-free!) honeymoon the next day, and move immediately after our return. My twitter account has gone dark in order to hunker down and keep the focus of the next few weeks exactly where it belongs: On our friends and family, and most importantly, on my love. This blog will follow suit, and I look forward to my first post as a glowing newlywed in a few weeks. Until then, be safe and happy, count your blessings every single day, send love and light to everyone you know.